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HOW TO MAKE NEW YORK GIRLS REALIZE THEY WOULD RATHER BE WITH ADAM WADE

by Adam Wade

Installment #1: Sport

DAY 1:

At the bus stop I saw a very sweet girl and I hesitated

to talk to her. Then this guy struck up a conversation

by telling her, "I play tennis, I mean I'm no Agassi,

but I hit a mean ball." I cringed. And then I got very

depressed when she lit up and started talking back to

him, and then when we got on the bus, she sat with

him and I saw them exchange numbers.

DAY 2:

I have learned from experience and have

come up with my own personal sports pick-up line (I

don't play tennis). I also have a backup plan: if all goes wrong,

change the topic fast.

I enter a bar alone. It's 7:30 pm and this place is

pretty dead. I see a so-so looking girl sitting

alone (I say so-so mainly because I have the confidence to

approach her). I order a Sprite (my sinuses are killing me = I can't

drink booze or they get worse), pull the straw out of the glass and

sip it like a man.

I look over to her and say, " I play golf. I'm no Tiger Woods, but I swing a mean club."

She gives me a look like she smells something strange and goes, "What?"

I panic and say, "How about them Yankees?"

She goes, "Huh?"

So I say, "Mets fan? Looking good, GO METS!"

The male bartender who has been right there the whole time,

gives me a stare, I realize he looks like Ken Wahl from TV's Wiseguy.

"Why Don't you back off, buddy, be a good boy and drink

your Sprite." He then puts a new straw in my drink.

I save face by drinking my Sprite, through the straw,

and walk out of there with my head up high.  

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