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HA HA, THE SITE UPDATE IS LATE. SHUT UP, THAT'S NOT FUNNY. THIS IS THE BEST STUFF FROM THE MAIL THIS MONTH, SO PUT THAT ON THERE.

Starring Tim Kell with a small walk on part for Dan Kennedy

 

The mail was mad this month. Not angry, but like a Briton losing his mind. So, that's to say, the mail was insane. A good amount of it, in other words. Jesus, I should've just said something snappy like, "Let's reach into the mail and see what we've got this month." Anyway, here's the best four things from the stuff that showed up.

FLOP SWEAT

D: Yeah! An issue of Flopsweat was sent to headquarters!

TK: Drop it with the "headquarters" bullshit and acting that happy this 'zine is...

D: You're a dick, Tim.

Bottom line: You should be treating yourself to this thing. Email them at flopsweatmag[at]hotmail.com and get one for yourself. A few bucks, I think. Hobo Checklist is this short list in this issue of Flopsweat that made four people here howl with laughter, myself included.

 

WAITING TO BE HEARD

826 Valencia's book. Students from this high school in S.F. writing about inheriting a violent world, which sounds like a big downer, but is not at all, if you ask me.

TK: Nice, considering you're totally partial since you write a column at McSweeney's.

D: Is this your new thing? Acting like the cynical bookish thug type?

TK: Well, I should be the one talking about it.

D: Then talk about it. So far all you've done is tell me to "drop the headquarters bullshit".

TK: (tries to stare really intense and strange, long pause...) I liked it.

D: You did?

TK: Alot. Available at their store at McSweeney's. At the website.

 

ILLUSION OF PROGRESS

If I had to pick only one 'zine thing because I was getting knifed by soldiers or going to an island or something and had to choose, it would be any issue of "Illusion of Progress". They send them here, but there's never a price on front, so I can't tell you how much they cost. But their address is: 6 Pine Drive, Fredonia, New York, 14063

D: This is my favorite. I think Justin Goetz, the guy that creates this, is just this funny guy stuck in a tiny town upstate and he has a camera and a typewriter and he's trapped and this is his note to the outside world. I love this thing. I wish our site was more like this.

TK: Goddamn, sport. Easy.

D: Turn off the tape thing if all you're going to do is be a jerk and not even say anything about the stuff people send here. You don't have to like it, but at least say something.

TK: Well... I do like this, so...

 

CHINESE LOSER

These bad boys arrived last week. The Chinese version of my book Loser Goes First, since, um...it was so hard for Chinese people who didn't speak or read English to get into it. Looking at it last night and some guy apparently wrote a forward for it, but it's in Chinese so I can't read what he wrote, and I have no idea who he is.

TK: What if the guy that wrote the forward totally ripped you a new one and you don't even know it, since it's in Chinese?

D: Yeah, that'd be pretty funny, Tim.

TK: I'm going to start calling you Shanghai Danny.

 

CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH

These guys are the first band in a while that's made me feel good about music and the shape it's in. I hope to God they don't sign to a major, to tell you thte truth. They're pretty cool and really pretty refreshingly funny and abstract in press.

TK: But you kept saying they sing like The Talking Heads!

D: The guy sings a little bit like David Byrne here and there, yeah.

TK: But you know, kids who are listening to these guys could've been born after the Talking Heads broke up.

D: Allright, I'm old. And I say headquarters. Jesus.

TK: Don't cry, Hoss. [belches] I'm going to Starbucks, you want anything?

 

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