TOMATO, TOHMAHTO

By Griffin Hansbury

At the Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue, a young African-American woman with long, hot-pink fingernails says to the Information man, "I'm looking for Intanet."

"Internet," the information man says, "Straight down, three aisles over."

The woman follows his directions, stops still in the computer books section, looks around, and returns.

"I said, I'm looking for Intanet," she says.

Again, the information man sends her down to the computer book section. She goes, then returns once more. Now she's angry.She demands to know where she can find "Intanet", but the information man is unflappable, "The computer books are right where I told you they'd be."

"Computer books?" hisses the woman with the hot-pink fingernails, "I'm looking for my cousin, Intanet. She's a person, not some book!"
 

"Antoinette," annunciates the information man,  "went out to lunch and sheˆll be back around 1:00."