NO, THAT'S NO GOOD : A Four Act Play About Going to a Restaurant with My Mother

by Harris Bloom

Act I

HARRIS and MOM enter the restaurant. HARRIS is about 37 years old, 5'10", medium build and balding. MOM is 65ish, about 5' 4" and thin.They approach the HOSTESS, who is in the early 20's, and has long brown hair with blond highlights.

HOSTESS
(Showing them a seat.)
Would you like to sit here?

HARRIS
Sure.

MOM
No, that's no good. Too close to the door. May be too drafty.

Act II

HOSTESS
(Showing them a seat.)
Would you like to sit here?

HARRIS
Sure.

MOM
No, that's no good. Too close to the kitchen. May be too warm.

Act III

HOSTESS
(Showing them a seat.)
Would you like to sit here?

HARRIS
Sure

MOM
No, that's no good. I can't sit too close to babies. They make a
racket.

Act IV

HOSTESS
(Showing them a seat.)
Would you like to sit here?

HARRIS
Sure.

MOM
Under that air conditioning vent? No, that's no good.

HARRIS
(Nodding towards HOSTESS's hair)
Nice highlights.

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