Anthony Remus works in a New York marketing agency that markets tobacco products. His other notes to the outside world are here:
BEHIND THE SMOKE Part 5: MILLENIALS
By Anthony Remus
Everyone wants the Millenials. They are the best customers. They buy everything, then they throw it away, then they buy it again. Plus they are so communal that if one does it, the rest will soon follow. The Millenials are the best thing to hit Capitalism since Eli Whitney. What do you do for the Millenials?
You mail them Impact Conversion Flow Mailers in an attempt to drive them to the product website, so they can be registered. The only thing the internet did was make more junk mail. It seems that people forgot that Millenials are not going to respond to things they get in the mail. We are almost finished with chopping down Brazil (I know, I know, screw Brazil). Also, being told to go somewhere on the internet is like North Korea or a shitty job. But the truth is that these Millenials would buy Brazil. They would proclaim it is the greatest place ever, then throw it the trash ten minutes later because Brittany Spears is eating tacos at a mall somewhere, and they want to go watch it and scream with all tha homegirlz.
Sidebar: Activities my job encourages which people should not do.
Be compelled by delicious copy and energetic art
Read junk mail you get.
Look at junk mail you get.
Register personal information on the internet to get a free pack of cigarettes.
Admire advertisements you see in magazines for a long time, and s ow them to your friends, increasing P.W.O.M (Positive Word of Mouth).
Talk amongst your peers of how much respect you have to the tobacco industry for making an effort to care about our well-being.
Check your email more than you talk.
Use coupons to buy cigarettes.
Register for a contest, because you could win.
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