BEHIND THE SMOKE

Part 3: THOUGHTS AND CONVERSATIONS

By Anthony Remus

Anthony Remus is our corespondent. Here's the thing: he works in a New York marketing agency that markets tobacco products. He'll be checking in regularly to give you an inside view on what it's like to work on tobacco and cigarette-related advertising efforts. You can read parts ONE and TWO in the archive.

THOUGHTS

January. Slow season. My thoughts meander toward
things I could have done beside advertising for
tobacco.

I could have been a masseuse, and flirted with old
ladies. I have such strong hands.

I could have been a sheriff, and shot into the steamy
Texas night.

I don't want to be anything.

Focus groups are the devil. They steal children and
eat them.

The pencil is dead. Mary Steenburgen is not dead.

My fetish isn't even sexual. It is antiques.

Romper Room.

CONVERSATIONS I'VE HAD WITH MY CREATIVE DIRECTOR:

(on a Monday)

CD: "How was Chicago?"

Me: "I didn't go there."

CD: "Oh. I thought you did."

(on a Wednesday)

CD: "Are you swamped?"

Me: "Sort of, but I could be able to squeeze something
in. "

CD: "Cool - my wife might call you for a favor."

(after the funeral)

CD: "Sorry to hear about your brother passing. How is
your family doing?"

Me: "Thank you. We are getting by. We know we still
have each other."

CD: "Yeah. That is crazy about the Red Sox, though.
Have you been watching it at all?"

(alone in an elevator)

CD: "How was your holiday?"
Me: "Good. Yours?"
CD: (the door opened and he was gone)

º º º

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