BEHIND THE SMOKE

Anthony Remus is our correspondent . Here's the thing: he works in a New York marketing agency that markets tobacco products. He'll be checking in regularly to give you an inside view on what it's like to work on tobacco and cigarette-related advertising efforts.

Part 2: Tobacco Advertising Timeline

By Anthony Remus

1920s
Agency: Here it is, 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel.'

Client: I don't get it. Why can't we just say it is
better than opium?

Result: Tobacco becomes the rage, at least among the
cools.

1930s
Agency: Just a few foolish doctors won't admit your
product reduces health problems, but they are most
likely Catholics.

Client: Catholic doctors? Jesus H. Christ, this
country is in ruins.

Result: Following the advice of their physicians, more
people begin smoking to ensure a long life.

1940s
Agency: Since your smokes come in their daily rations,
we should use a soldier as our pitchman.

Client: I hope this doesn't hurt our German market.

Result: We blow up Japan.

1950s
Agency: DiMaggio is a pussy spokesman. We went with
Mantle.
Client: Now we know what God feels like.

Result: People start dying after coughing up yellow
chunks of flesh for years. Everyone starts wondering
why.

1960s
Agency: No more tv? No more radio? What in the hell
are we going to do? This is advertising!

Client: Calm down. This will blow over.

Result: The dark ages begin. Everyone starts listening
to folk music, and caring about each other.

1970s
Agency: Well, I guess we can put the part where the
Surgeon General says this will kill you down in the
corner. That way it won't stick out so much.

Client: We sure are sick of ye cotton pickin' Yankees
tellin' us what to do.

Result: I am born. Not much relevance, but still
amazing to see where I have come in such a short
period of time.

1980s
Agency: Market research just told us the kids think
Joe Camel is cool.

Client: Is that a penis on his face?

Result: Congress comes after client. A bunch of
rednecks make millions for convincing juries they
didn't know smoking was bad for them.

1990s
Agency: Why haven't you called us back?

Client: Read the news lately? We are kind of up shit
creek right now.

Result: Advertising shifts from mass appeal to more
direct mailers through targeted marketing. In other
words, you can't get kids to smoke, or at least in an
obvious way.

2000s
Agency: How about we send coupons?

Client: Just make sure they are culturally sensitive.

Result: Everyone still gets cancer one way or another,
except now they are fat.

º º º

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