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HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE INTERESTING TOO!

by S. E. Kramer

We have bed bugs.

Last night R and I were preparing to go to sleep. I had been reading
in bed. I noticed that I had some new bites on my right foot. I showed
them to R. R had woken up two mornings ago with three huge bites on
his stomach. For a while, we had assumed our occasional bites were
from mosquitoes. It had been summer. Now, it is a little too chilly
for mosquitoes.

R made the mistake of googling bed bugs as I was brushing my teeth.
There are sites out there with lots of useful information. And
pictures. About bedbugs. For example:

- Nothing to do with whether your apartment is clean or dirty.
- They shed their skin
- They are only active at night
- They bite humans
- They are very, very difficult to get rid of.

We found some bedbug skin on the edge of the one year old mattress.
Now, I have a very high tolerance for bugs. I am good at catching
them, and am not even squeamish about killing spiders. But something
about the parallel between the picture on the computer screen and the
one little carcass in my bed right next to the computer sent me
spiraling over the edge of tolerance.

Flashback: before we moved into our lovely 6th floor walk up – two
months ago – the Super was living in the unit while he was doing
repairs. All he had in the bedroom was an old bed, a set of
twenty-pound weights, and a bottle of calamine lotion. We used to
think this story was funny. Now, it doesn't seem so hilarious.

Last night, I dreamt that I was being persecuted by Nazis. My anxiety
dreams always involve Nazis, but in them, the Nazis aren't usually
biting me.