MISFIRE By Mia Skaili Saturday night and Beth ends up at the Fifth Avenue apartment of the third richest man in the world. She was at a party with a friend (and, as she put it, "if she's still a friend after what happened"). Friend gets a call on her cell. It's him. He's in town and, "What are you doing, do you want to come by?" He sends his car and driver for them. His apartment is the most amazing place Beth has ever seen. No surface is flat. Every square inch is decorated. Beth finds herself repeating the phrase "This is so amazing" to the chagrin of Friend, who pretends this is what she's used to -- her tiny, one-bedroom apartment in downtown L.A. lost in deep denial. They sit in a vast living room as a butler waits on them and "He" strums a guitar. He also asks the friend how her business is going (a woman-produced porn venture, which is how he met her in the first place-- at an industry conference). Maybe because she's so taken by the grandeur of her surroundings, and wouldn't it be nice to be one with this, but she quickly segues from talking about her business to stories of her ex-husband---a completely misguided flirting device. The strumming of the guitar stops and, "I asked you about your business, not your ex-husband." "Oh my God," Beth says out loud. We don't know how audible this was to the other two, the sheer scale of the place creating great physical distance between each of them. But we do know it was indeed said out loud. Things wrap up quickly. At the door, Beth finds herself suggesting to "Him" that they have dinner next time he's in town. He says, "Yes, email me" and hands her his card. Once outside, Friend says, "How could you do that? You know I like him!" Beth explains guys like that are not date material-- they're always going from city to city--not stressing the fact that whatever chance friend had, she's already blown. They return to the East Village, where Friend is crashing on Beth's couch. The next morning Beth finds the business card missing from her pocketbook. With all guns loaded, Friend shrugs and says, "I guess you just must've lost it."
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