99¢
 
by Maia Goss

I was at Wendy’s the other night, frequenting the 99¢ menu.  Chicken nuggets, French fries, and a side salad (this final item obviously negates the calories of the first two) are my usual choices, and as I sat eating them, my friend, a virgin to the wonders of the 99-cent fair at Wendy’s, began to compare it to McDonald’s dollar menu.

“This is unreal,” he said, shoveling one of the four burgers he’d just bought for $3.96 into his mouth, “At McDonald’s there are like three choices on the dollar menu!”
 
Suddenly, a biker with a studded leather jacket at a neighboring table us perked up, “No shit!” he exclaimed. “I hate that menu…there is nothing good on it.” His portly girlfriend nodded her bandana-covered head in assent. “It’s shit,” she said in a voice muffled by masticated fries lolling around in her mouth, “Wendy’s is so much better.”
 
Thinking that we’d sufficiently beaten the McDonald’s-dollar-menu-isn’t-as-good-as-Wendy’s-99¢-menu horse to death, my friend and I got up to leave. But biker boy wasn’t done:  “Oh, and have you guys seen Supersize Me?” he asked us, reaching for his gallon of root beer.  “If you see that movie, you’ll NEVER eat at McDonald’s again!!!”