MY GIRLFRIEND’S MAIN COMPLAINTS
By Griffin Hansbury

#1:
She says: "I’m not like you. I don’t think that all change is bad.
When a new restaurant opens, you say, ‘Oh, God, another new
restaurant’, like it1s the end of the world. You know what I think? I
think, ‘Maybe the food will be good.’ Is that so terrible?"

#2:
She says: "Can we please, please, please stop talking about real
estate? You don't understand. I used to have nightmares about Nazis.
Men with guns breaking into my house to kill me. Now it's all about
real estate. Every night I have this dream where I finally get the
down payment together, but there's nothing left to buy. I wake up in a
panic. The Nazis were nothing compared to this."

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