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THIS THING HAPPENED LAST NIGHT

by Eevin Hartsough

I was just trying to take a bus down Broadway (from 50th to 30th St.) which, I guess, is harder than you'd think.

The bus stop at b'way and 50th is no help in the map department but, last night, there were a couple of cops standing RIGHT THERE.  "Finally," I thought, "I'll get some answers about this bus thing!"

Me: Hey, I need to take the bus down Broadway but I don't know which line actually stays on Broadway.

Male cop: That'll be five dollars.

Me: (flabbergasted, spluttering) What? Um, no! I pay the taxes . . .

Male cop: You haven't seen my pay check.

Me: (grasping for straws) Well . . . you haven't seen my pay check . . .

Female cop: We pay the taxes too, so it's pretty much like we're working for free.

Me: (confused, hoping to escape) Oh. Um. I guess that's a good point.

The lady cop tried to tell me about the busses.  Then, as I turned to go wait for the bus, I slammed into some random pedestrian and then got paranoid that suddenly the cops were watching me.  Like tourist-bumping is really suspicious behavior.

As it turns out, all of the busses go down seventh ave.

And I'm not sure that point about the cops paying taxes is really very good at all.