I HAVE BETTER TEETH
 
by Ryan Britt

 
I used to like Coldplay before I moved here. 

My face is long and when I don’t shave, I’ve heard it said:

“Hey you kinda look like that guy- Chris Martin!” 

I used to like Coldplay, and I used to like it when people said that.  But then I moved here.
 
I told a man who I worked with that I liked Coldplay.  I didn’t know I was hopeless, but he sure did.

“Fuck Cold play” he said. 

It was apparently all about a bunch of bands I had never heard of.  They all sounded too cool for me.  The only one I could remember was “Ratchet Sets for Field mice”.  Or was it “The Eyebrow Pencil Stains”?  I thought I liked music, and I thought I liked Coldplay. 
 
I don’t know what I like anymore, and sometimes it occurs to me that no one really does.  Do aliens erase my memory every night?  If so, they must wake me up every morning and have me listen to “Clocks” or “Yellow” and make me think I like Coldplay.  They are just screwing with me by having me listen to things in that not-quite-awake, bleary-eyed state!  I don’t really like Coldplay!  How could I? I live in New York now.  I can’t be that hopeless.
 
A girl last week said I looked like Chris Martin. 
         

“Yeah, sure.  But I’ve got better teeth.”
 
 

CLICK ON PIC FOR THE SITE ABOUT YOUR FEARLESS EDITOR'S BOOK: