GIRL ON THE TRAIN

I had a crush on her immediately. She was cute, dressed nicely, and she was on my train every morning. But I fell in love with her the day I saw her buy the Daily- News and start with the sports section

--Jerry Smith

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HOMEMADE CHRISTMAS CARD TO MY EX-GIRLFRIEND

By Erik Bowie

[Picture of two reindeer at a wedding chapel]

If You Like Christmas so Much, Then Why Don't You Merry It?

Notice I said "Merry", not "Marry". It's a play on words, unlike the time when I said, "Well, if you like Jason so much, then why don't you marry him?" which was actually just a figure of speech, but then you went ahead and did it anyway.

I didn't think I needed to explain these things to you, but apparently I do.  

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